Widows Healing Through Creativity
Before I met my husband, I was a creative, hands-on person. I loved gardening, knitting, cooking, redecorating and never turned down an opportunity to try a new craft. There was something magical about allowing my mind to wander, experiment and eventually produce something that was uniquely mine—a tangible result of my effort. It gave me a deep sense of satisfaction and joy.
Then life changed. I got married, we had three daughters, and the busyness of family life took over. My creative pursuits gradually took a backseat. There was always something that needed to be done, and that part of me kept getting pushed further and further away.
Then Steve died.
In the immediate aftermath, survival became my sole focus. Every day was about just getting through. Grief was overwhelming, and the idea of creating something—of putting energy into anything beyond the basics of life—felt impossible.
But as time passed, the horizon of my future stretched. Slowly, I settled into a routine that “worked” for our family. Then I became an empty nester, and for the first time in decades, I had extra time on my hands. The constant busyness slowed down, and with that pause came a surprising and welcomed change: my creative brain started to wake up.
I rediscovered things I loved. Photography, for instance, had always been a passion of mine, but I’d never had the time to do anything meaningful with the 47,000 digital photos I’d accumulated. Determined to change that, I hired a photo organizing coach who taught me how to bring order to my chaos. The result? It’s now so much easier to find the photos I need, and I’ve started making photo albums again. I’d forgotten how much I loved bringing moments to life on a page.
I also started journaling, something I’d never done before. It has been an incredible tool for self-exploration, helping me process my feelings, understand my grief, and discover who I am now, post-loss.
Needlepointing became another unexpected joy. It began as a way to support my daughter’s needlepoint design business but quickly turned into something I truly enjoy. I even took a private lesson on beading—me, learning how to bead! Who would have thought?
Through these creative outlets, I’ve found more than just new hobbies. I’ve discovered new friendships, a natural way to calm my mind, and a renewed sense of purpose and satisfaction.
The Benefits of Creativity in Grief Recovery
There’s science behind why creativity is so powerful during the grieving process. Engaging in creative activities can:
Reduce Stress: Creative activities like journaling, painting or knitting activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to calm the mind and body. They can serve as a natural stress reliever, lowering cortisol levels and creating a sense of peace.
Provide Emotional Expression: Grief often comes with a flood of emotions that are difficult to put into words. Creative outlets offer a way to express those feelings nonverbally, helping you process them in a healthy way.
Stimulate the Brain: Creativity engages the brain in a way that encourages problem-solving, focus and mindfulness. It allows you to step away from the repetitive loop of loss and engage in the present moment.
Foster a Sense of Accomplishment: Creating something—whether it’s a journal entry, a photo album or a finished piece of needlepoint—provides a tangible reminder of your ability to move forward and accomplish things, even in the midst of grief.
Build Connections: Many creative activities can be shared with others, fostering community and new friendships. These relationships are especially important as you navigate the often isolating experience of loss.
Promote Healing through Flow: When you’re deeply engaged in a creative activity, you may enter a state of “flow,” where time seems to disappear and you feel completely immersed in the moment. This can be incredibly therapeutic, offering a reprieve from the heaviness of grief.
Inspiring Creativity in Grief: A Family Journey
What has been especially meaningful to me is seeing how creativity has begun to weave itself back into our family. One of my daughters is designing and painting needlepoint canvases, another has discovered her love for cooking, and the third has taken up watercolor painting. Creativity is once again alive and thriving in our household, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
If you’re grieving, I encourage you to explore creative outlets. Don’t worry about whether you’re “good” at something—this isn’t about perfection. It’s about letting your mind and heart wander, experimenting, and finding joy in the process. Whether it’s painting, gardening, writing or cooking, creativity can be a beautiful companion on your journey of healing.
With creativity and healing,
Jody
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