Spring Cleaning for the Soul: Lessons in Growth and Renewal

When Steve died, I was in survival mode. Each day was a battle to get through, filled with logistical challenges, emotional turmoil and the constant feeling that I was barely staying afloat. It took years before I could look back and see just how much I had changed in widowhood. And while I wish Steve were still here and I had never needed to change in these ways, I know he would be proud of the woman I have become.

Spring is a season of renewal—a time to declutter, reassess and refresh. Just as we clean out our homes, widowhood forces us to clear out parts of ourselves that no longer serve us. Through loss, I underwent my own kind of soul-level spring cleaning, shedding old habits and perspectives in ways I never expected.

Shedding the Trivial

One of the first things to go was my patience for the trivial. Life is fragile, and I had seen firsthand how quickly everything can change. I no longer had time for meaningless small talk, unnecessary drama or people who drained my energy. Instead, I became laser-focused on spending my time with those who truly mattered and on things that added meaning to my life. If it didn’t align with my values or bring me joy, I let it go.

Letting Go of Control

Before Steve died, I was a classic helicopter mom—hovering, problem-solving and ensuring my daughters were always prepared for what was ahead. But suddenly, I was thrust into a world where I simply didn’t have the capacity to micromanage. My girls had to become more independent, and in the process, I saw them flourish. They learned to problem-solve, advocate for themselves and navigate life with resilience. Of course, they still call me when they need to craft an email (why is it that kids today struggle with emails? 🤦‍♀️), but they also learned how to stand on their own in ways that might not have happened otherwise.

Releasing Perfectionism

Grief wiped out my perfectionist tendencies. I used to believe that if something wasn’t done just right, it wasn’t worth doing at all. But when you’re navigating loss, good enough is more than enough. Laundry didn’t always get folded. Dinners weren’t always homemade. And I stopped striving for an unattainable standard of perfection in my career, my parenting and my life. I realized that sometimes simply getting through the day is an achievement worth celebrating.

Discovering Confidence

Widowhood pushed me to trust myself like never before. I had to make big financial decisions, run a business and navigate situations that I once would have leaned on Steve to handle. Over time, I discovered a confidence I never knew I had. I stopped second-guessing myself and started embracing the power of my own instincts. That confidence has since become one of my greatest strengths.

Defining My Values

If there’s one thing grief makes crystal clear, it’s what truly matters. I became unwavering in my values, no longer willing to compromise on the things that were most important to me. Whether in relationships, work or personal growth, I became more intentional about aligning my life with what I truly believe in.

Making Room for Joy

Through all this change, I also discovered new passions and hobbies. I allowed myself to explore, to try new things and to embrace the unexpected. Widowhood forced me to reimagine my life, and in doing so, I found moments of joy that I never anticipated.

My daughters saw me in a new light—not just as their mother, but as a woman who was advocating for herself, making hard choices and still finding a way to laugh and love through it all. I know Steve would be proud—not only of them, but of me as well.

Embracing Your Own Renewal

Widowhood, like spring cleaning, forces us to let go of the unnecessary and make room for new growth. It is a painful process, but also one that can bring clarity and transformation. If you’re in the thick of it, wondering how you will ever rebuild, know that change is happening within you—even if you don’t see it yet.

So, how do you begin your own renewal? Start small. Identify one thing in your life—whether it’s a belief, a habit, a relationship or even a physical object—that no longer serves you. Ask yourself: Does this bring me peace? Does this align with who I am becoming? If not, give yourself permission to release it.

Make space for what feels good, what lights you up and what brings you even the smallest sense of hope. Maybe it’s a new morning ritual, a creative hobby or a simple walk in nature. Maybe it’s saying no to things that drain you and yes to things that bring you energy. Renewal isn’t about reinventing yourself overnight—it’s about allowing yourself to evolve in ways that feel right for you.

What is one thing you can clear out— physically, emotionally or mentally—this season? Let’s make space for what’s next.