Thoughts from Widow Coach Jody LaVoie, ACC
What to Do with Their “Stuff”
Deciding what to do with your late partner’s belongings is a significant and often overwhelming task. Many widows find themselves asking, “When should I clean out their closet? When should I empty their side of the medicine cabinet? When should I sell their car? When should I move their coats and shoes out of the coat closet? When should I get rid of their big tools and lawn equipment?”
First and foremost, let go of the “shoulds”. There is no right or wrong time to address these tasks, whether it’s now or in the future. Don’t let anyone pressure you into removing your partner’s things if you’re not ready. It’s common to hear, “My [insert someone’s name] told me it’s been long enough and it’s time to let go of their things.” This can lead to feelings of guilt and regret if you’re not prepared for this step.
Many widows keep their partner’s belongings for years, finding comfort in seeing those items. If their presence brings you joy and doesn’t impede your healing process, it’s perfectly okay to keep them. On the other hand, if you feel emotionally burdened by their presence, you might consider moving them to another location as a first step. This allows you to ease into the process by simply relocating the items out of sight without permanently parting with them. If you find the idea of removing their things daunting but feel ready to let them go, enlisting the help of a friend or family member can be a great support.
If you’d like to hear about my experience with this process, feel free to listen here.